Obsessions of Kristi

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Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Grass vs. Rock: the Battle in our Front Yard

In the epic territorial battle between Grass and Rock, Grass attempts to overpower the strength of Rock by slowly creeping under and between its fortifications.


Grass seems to be winning until Rock makes an alliance with the humans, who engage in chemical warfare. While the humans like the beautiful green of the grass, they dislike the constant watering, mowing and border patrol required for its maintenance. Within a few hours Grass suffers innumerable casualties. Rock delights in supposed victory!

But with deep roots and incalculable resiliency, the grass presses onward and begins to slowly grow and encroach upon Rock again. In a bold move, Rock introduces a new weapon: the sod cutter. With the help of sweaty humans on a scorchingly hot day, the top 2 inches of grass is beheaded.


Grass suffers further disgrace when new plants take its place.


In despair, Grass is on the verge of surrender as more plants are inserted and it sees a large pile of rocks threatening to overtake its territory.


The Rock is ready for attack! Ha ha!

In a bold and final move, Grass's defeat is complete as a further chemicals are applied, an irrigation system not designed for Grass is installed, physical blockades are laid out, and finally rocks are spread over the land.


The humans and Rocks relish in victory! All are pleased with the new look, and look forward to a $500 check from City of Mesa for conversion to xeriscape.

What were the costs of battle, you ask? More than we would like:
Glyphosate for killing grass: $83
Sod cutter rental: $73
Irrigation and electrical supplies (including fixing several broken pipes and wiring): approx. $160
5 new plants: $72
New rocks: $183
TOTAL: $571

We won't actually make money, but hopefully it's still worth it. Go Rocks!


Kevin said...


Ruth said...

I love your creativity, your writing is both enjoyable and informative. Your pictures, which might seem bland by themselves, come to life when your writing is added. Well done! Love you bunches!

Jill Ison said...

ummm is that grass under the tree in the grassless photo? hahahahahahaha! hahahahaha! hahahah! ok im a nerd. great job guys. and in the heat?! you're crazy.

Unknown said...

I hope the rocks victory remains intact and no grass is able to make a comeback

Kristi said...

No it's not grass, Jill. It's a little plant growing up from the roots of the tree. It's kind of pretty so I haven't cut it off yet. But I'm sure we will have further skirmishes with Grass as it tries to regain its territory.

Crystal said...

Sounds like a tough battle! I'm glad you triumphed :) I love how you write, Kristi. Don't stop being silly sometimes.